Coaching 1-1

What is coaching? Coaching is a safe space for you to explore any aspects of your life which you feel you want to grow, shape, change or build upon. Maybe you are looking for ways to incorporate time for yourself, begin a new challenge, find confidence or find a way to live to work, rather than work to live. It could be any reason, maybe you feel stuck, stressed, would like to set some boundaries at work or personally, or just want some help with your goals or future plans. Coaching is here to provide you with a path towards achieving what you want. The answers are there, coaching helps you to find the answers and put them into practice. It is about finding what works for you, in a way which fits in with your life and helps achieve balance.

My coaching service is all about you. You have the answers and I can guide you towards your goals and facilitate putting them into practice.

Coaching is not counselling or therapy.

Self esteem coaching

People with healthy levels of self-esteem have a positive opinion of themselves however, we all struggle with self-esteem, sometimes often and sometimes, occasionally. Low self esteem can effect how you feel about yourself and those around you, as well as your actions and activities. When you don’t feel good about yourself, you often begin to question your abilities, people around you and what the future holds.

It is possible to build your self-esteem and change negative ways of thinking which you may have picked up from your past experiences. It can be hard to face your inner critical voice and treat yourself with compassion.

I can work with you towards building self-esteem, identify and change limiting beliefs and challenge negative thoughts.

Building your self esteem will help to achieve what you want from life, be able to act on your desires and make your goals a reality.

Life balance for lawyers and other professionals

As a lawyer for 20 years, I know first hand the pressures of the legal profession. It is a demanding profession; long hours, balancing life with work, appraisals and promotions, expectations of colleagues, billable hours, fee earning, the list goes on. The stress that these factors can cause will often seem overwhelming and can lead you to wonder what you can do to change any one of the multiple pressures.

I can work with you as a coach to help you towards finding ways to alleviate some of those pressures, to manage your time effectively, to have difficult conversations with colleagues about promotions and partnerships, or your performance, or on how to say no when your workload is overwhelming.

Workplace and career coaching

As a professional, sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads, or maybe a time when we wonder what our next steps might. I can work with you to discover what motivates you in your life, and your career, to help you uncover what your nest steps might be and how to implement them.

By working with you we will look at different perspectives on why your current role or career is and isn’t working for you, where you are and where you want to be, and set goals as to how we can make change happen. We will work together to review your long-term career goals and create a plan that will help achieve them.

We will tap into your career motivations and desires, and find the right balance for you and your personal development, financial expectations, creative challenge, and time flexibility so you can enjoy your life and your career.

Mindful coaching

Mindful coaching combines mindfulness, being present and coaching. Mindful coaching helps you to slow down and be fully present in the coaching sessions.

Mindful coaching will also help you to learn mindfulness and meditation skills, which you will be able to use in daily life, as well as learning how to incorporate new habits into your life and increase happiness.

Coaching for specific concerns

Work life

As a professional, sometimes we find ourselves at a crossroads, or maybe a time when we wonder what our next steps might. Maybe we want to progress and need some help making that happen, or want to receive recognition for our work. I can work with you to discover what motivates you in your life, and your career, to help you uncover what your next steps might be and how to implement them.

By working with you we will look at different perspectives on why your current role or career is and isn’t working for you, where you are and where you want to be, and set goals as to how we can make change happen. We will work together to review your long-term career goals and create a plan that will help achieve them.

We will tap into your career motivations and desires, and find the right balance for you and your personal development, financial expectations, creative challenge, and time flexibility so you can enjoy your life and your career.

Life balance

In today’s world, it’s not just balance between work and home life that can be hard to find. There are so many things that we want to balance, work, family, social lives, physical activity, relaxation, caring for others, self care, social, environmental or political views and causes. It can feel as though you are pulled in too many different directions and that something has to give.

We all need balance, a little bit like the saying ‘everything in moderation’. Finding balance is an organic process and does not necessarily mean being calm and contented every day, it is more about striving for balance in all of our days, and not letting those days when we feel out of balance tip the scales.

Different days may call for different priorities, each day may be required to be managed differently and balance can help identify those priorities without getting overwhelmed. We can specify our priorities for that day, that week; the more specific the better, set it as a goal, and when you achieve it, celebrate!

Balance requires you to set goals, small and large, long and short term, in bite size and achievable steps. If we set goals that are vague and too expansive, such as going for a run everyday, which time may not allow, we set ourselves up to fail, and if we only achieve 3 days, we don’t celebrate that achievement, instead we focus on the failure.

Balance also requires scheduling time for things you enjoy, or rest. Asking for help and delegating some tasks. Breaking tasks into ever smaller steps and removing activities that no longer serve you. Learning to say no, and setting boundaries. Evaluating what brings you joy.

Together we can find your life’s perfect balance.

Self esteem

Low self-esteem often manifests when someone has deep-seated, negative beliefs about themselves and the kind of person they are and they believe these thoughts are facts.

People with low self-esteem often say a lot of negative things about themselves, are self critical and put themselves down, have significant self doubt and blame themselves when things go wrong, without recognising their positive qualities.

Low self-esteem can show up as someone believing things will not go well for them and feeling sad, anxious, guilty, ashamed, frustrated, and angry. It can affect work performance and achievements, present as people pleasing or perfectionism, being overwhelmed at the slightest criticism, and perhaps even being bullied or avoiding social and other recreational activities.

I can work with you on looking at how low self esteem develops and working towards challenging the biases and limiting beliefs which come with low self esteem and enabling you to see your positive qualities. This will include covering matters such as assertiveness and perfectionism, self compassion and boundaries, ultimately reaching a place of healthy self esteem and allowing you to achieve your goals and be a happier you.

Self care and self compassion

Most of us are hard on ourselves, much harder than we would be on someone else, particularly if we find ourselves making comparisons with others about our achievements, career, social lives, relationships, appearance, body image, finances and more.

When we make a tiny mistake, we give ourselves a hard time, even if the mistake was genuine. We can find it almost impossible, to treat or speak to ourselves kindly.

Being able to grow your self-compassion can and move from self-criticism to self-care can have a substantial impact on our wellbeing, both physically and emotionally, and we can work together to understand what self-compassion is, why it is so important and how we can ditch the self-criticism and treat ourselves with kindness.

Negative thoughts

Often, when something goes wrong, or we feel that we have done something we feel bad about, we have automatic negative thoughts about it. An example might be that a friend or colleague has been a little distant of late and automatically your thoughts go to ‘they don’t like me’ or ‘I have done something wrong’. Here is some information on the types of negative thoughts. I offer in depth coaching on challenging negative thoughts.

Negatives thoughts often fall into one or more of the following categories:

• Black and white thinking
• Unreal ideal and making unfair comparisons
• Filtering and not considering the whole picture
• Personalising; the self-blame game
• Mind-reading, assuming you know what others are thinking
• Exaggerating
• Over-generalizing
• Fact versus feeling
• Labelling and judging

I can work with you to recognise any negative thinking patterns that you may have and how they can be challenged.

Procrastination

People often equate procrastination with being lazy, but this is far from the truth in many cases .

When we procrastinate we make a choice without a valid reason to delay or simply not
do a task or reach a goal, usually by doing something less important, despite knowing that there are likely to be negative consequences to not dealing with the original task or goal.

However, everyone procrastinates. However, procrastination which causes negative consequences can be distinguished from more general procrastination and I can help you to understand procrastination, provide some practical solutions and work on creating a plan to avoid procrastination in the future, and even creating new, positive, habits.

Rumination and worry

What is worry? Worry is often around the possible negative outcome of future events, usually in the form of ‘what if’ statements and questions. It is usually short-lived and positively resolved.

Worry becomes unhelpful when it is about a many things at one time, is frequent and difficult to control or dismiss. This type of prolonged or frequent worry veers into anxiety, which may mean that you are unable to find positive solutions.

If you find yourself worrying about several things and have been for a few months, months, feeling restless and tense, irritable or exhausted, unable to focus on tasks or concentrate and/or have trouble sleeping, then I can help you look at your anxiety triggers and deal with worry in a more helpful way.

With the use of mindfulness and meditation, as well as looking at negative beliefs and accepting uncertainty, with some techniques to deal with panic too, you can learn to manage worry more effectively and find some peace of mind.

Sleep

Sleep is one of the most important factors in physical, mental and emotional wellbeing; we have all had those days which have been made more difficult as the result of a poor night’s sleep.

With a combination of mindfulness, meditation and yoga techniques, along with some tips on good sleep hygiene, I can help you achieve that good night’s rest, giving you more clarity and energy to achieve fulfilling days.

Perfectionism

Perfectionists put immense pressure on themselves to meet impossible standards which then influences how they think themselves and allows their inner critical voice to become loud.

Not all forms of perfectionism are unhelpful and I can help you identify and work on the unhelpful parts, so that you celebrate your achievements and learn that perfectionism is not always about being perfect.

We can work together to set appropriate and achievable goals and standards for yourself, allowing you to find a sense of fulfilment, rather than frustration.

Anxiety

Often people who have the symptoms of anxiety begin to wonder if there is something wrong with them. This is not the case.

However, dealing with anxiety if not as simple as ‘just pulling yourself together’, sometimes you need to analyse what makes you anxious and how you can change your responses.

Many people feel alone in struggling with anxiety, the reality is that many people feel anxious, either from time to time, or more regularly. You are not alone. Anxiety can effect anyone at any time in life, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, any gender or age, and regardless of your personal circumstances.

When a person is in danger, or believes that they are in danger a number of changes occur. This has been referred to as our fight/flight response. I can help you to understand the way our bodies and minds react to threat or danger, whether real or imagined and change those reactions.

Assertiveness and setting boundaries

Assertiveness is about how you communicate with those around you; at home, at work or socially. It is a way of being able to express your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and opinions in an open manner that doesn’t invalidate others.

One effect of not being assertive is that it can lead to low self esteem because we are not saying how we really feel or what we really think and can end up agreeing with other people, even when we don’t want to, or putting the needs of others before our own. This can leave us feeling as though our wants and needs are less important than those of the people around us.

Often unassertiveness goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser and dependent upon being liked for your self-confidence and this can lead to you having a hard time setting boundaries.

I can help look at what may have contributed to any unassertiveness you have, and what stops you from being assertive and how that assertive can be regained, or grown, along with the benefits that being assertive can bring to your life, relationships and career. We can also review your boundaries with the people around you, and work on how you can give yourself permission to acknowledge your needs and define and communicate healthy boundaries.

Setting and reaching goals

Sometimes you have goals in your mind but don’t know exactly how to begin, or how to ensure that you stay on track. Perhaps you need help setting some goals for yourself. Your goals may be short term, or long term, either way, achieving them can be daunting, trying to fit them in with the others areas of your life, and I can help you take steps towards reaching them.

We will discuss what your goals are and why they are important. How you can achieve them and when. We will look at things such as whether they are specific and achievable, and if not, how we can make them more attainable and how reaching these goals fits in with your current lifestyle.

We can work together to identify your goals and put steps in place to achieve them, using a variety of practical methods, as well as taking time to review what works well, or not so well, what may need to change and ensure accountability for actions towards reaching your goals.